"While boasting, he says - My network is very large. Most of my contacts, however, are now dead-links!"
Have you ever checked your contact list. How many are live presently? Never checked or no idea! Yeah, we fall in some undecided kind of love with them. Although they are useless but still we never delete them. So caution before boasting about your contacts in front of anyone. Many of them are now converted in does not exist. Open and cross check if you don't want to be laughing stock for them.
Showing posts with label Witty Quotes. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Witty Quotes. Show all posts
Unconditional access
"Okay, fine.. I'll pay for all those channels provided I have unconditional access to my own remote!"
How pitiable! The man really raises the right issue which needs to be considered. Although, he pays but he never gets any chance to use remote to see his favorite channels. He has to watch the programs, preferred by his family. He can not dare to ask this to his wife, so he is arguing with the operator.
How pitiable! The man really raises the right issue which needs to be considered. Although, he pays but he never gets any chance to use remote to see his favorite channels. He has to watch the programs, preferred by his family. He can not dare to ask this to his wife, so he is arguing with the operator.
You're important but..
"Your service was always important for our business.. And now we think you have served our purpose!"
This is how they kick you out in smarter and sweeter way. On one hand, they are considering your service as an important factor for their business growth. But on another hand, they are showing your exit door because their purpose has been met. They have taken best out of you and now they think that you're no more productive for them. How cruel! But this the reality of world. Everyone is out their with you because you are somehow beneficial to them but when they realize that you are not worth it, they literally throw you.
This is how they kick you out in smarter and sweeter way. On one hand, they are considering your service as an important factor for their business growth. But on another hand, they are showing your exit door because their purpose has been met. They have taken best out of you and now they think that you're no more productive for them. How cruel! But this the reality of world. Everyone is out their with you because you are somehow beneficial to them but when they realize that you are not worth it, they literally throw you.
Personal e-mails
"I check all my personal e-mails at office so that it does not get in the hand of my wife!"
So common thing done my men. They are always in the search of affairs with beautiful women. So they do the research in office where their wives are far away and they are free and fearless. All their personal secret work take place in those hours. That is why numbers of extra marital affairs are increasing rapidly.
So common thing done my men. They are always in the search of affairs with beautiful women. So they do the research in office where their wives are far away and they are free and fearless. All their personal secret work take place in those hours. That is why numbers of extra marital affairs are increasing rapidly.
When other people laugh
"It irritates me when other people laugh and still look attractive, but when I laugh, I look like a demon showing teeth."
It happens in the real world. When we see others doing something, it fascinates us. But when we try that, we feel it is not our cup of tea. Some people are blessed with great talent. Whatever they do, suits them and makes them a point of attraction. But when you try, it becomes laughing stock for everybody. So practice before you go.
It happens in the real world. When we see others doing something, it fascinates us. But when we try that, we feel it is not our cup of tea. Some people are blessed with great talent. Whatever they do, suits them and makes them a point of attraction. But when you try, it becomes laughing stock for everybody. So practice before you go.
Be a critic.
Everybody around here is criticizing others for something they can't do or can't achieve! Author Richard pryor has pointed this habit of people. In childhood, we often wish to be a doctor, engineer or actor etc. but somehow we all grow up as a critic. Whenever we see our friends or known, we start commenting. It is really so rollicking.
No taste
"I like you. People say I've got no taste, but I like you."
He must be getting confused whether you're appraising or insulting! Whatever but it is something on which we can laugh on.. You can use it in deriding that backstabber. It really works like a sweet knife. It's a decent way to pull their legs. They won't be understood that how to react on above sober punch. Oops, by the way do you really like them!
He must be getting confused whether you're appraising or insulting! Whatever but it is something on which we can laugh on.. You can use it in deriding that backstabber. It really works like a sweet knife. It's a decent way to pull their legs. They won't be understood that how to react on above sober punch. Oops, by the way do you really like them!
Secret
"The secret of a happy marriage remains a secret." –
It is very old but most liked quote ever for enjoyable distraction. Big genius, philosophers and business tycoons have failed to find the secret of satisfied good married life. So when someone asked from Henny about it he replied in a very pleased way. This quote is definitely so funny as it pokes about the element of laugher into relations. And if you know that secret, please comment. Lol!
It is very old but most liked quote ever for enjoyable distraction. Big genius, philosophers and business tycoons have failed to find the secret of satisfied good married life. So when someone asked from Henny about it he replied in a very pleased way. This quote is definitely so funny as it pokes about the element of laugher into relations. And if you know that secret, please comment. Lol!
Cash rich and Cashless
"Our joint venture combines the best of both -- your company is cash rich and mine cashless!"
This funny quote represents the situation of modern collaborations. Some people are too smart that they join their empty hands with rich people and do well. What an idea! Success comes for sure.
This funny quote represents the situation of modern collaborations. Some people are too smart that they join their empty hands with rich people and do well. What an idea! Success comes for sure.
FMCG man
"Great! You truly seem to be FMCG man.. You've moved from job to job faster than any FMCG product that you've handled!"
In this Fast Moving consumer Goods(FMCG) industry, daily use things sell very fast because of their high demand. But this fellow is trying to fool the interviewer but that man caught him. The boss gives a good punch by commenting his behavior of changing jobs so fast.
In this Fast Moving consumer Goods(FMCG) industry, daily use things sell very fast because of their high demand. But this fellow is trying to fool the interviewer but that man caught him. The boss gives a good punch by commenting his behavior of changing jobs so fast.
Not to worry
"Not to worry! I can find some project even for your lazy son - in new and upcoming leisure industry!"
Rich people's all faults are forgettable. Their money covers the so well. So what he is lazy, their is a team who can give them cooked food. The projects are ready to give them credit of creativity. Well done guys!
Rich people's all faults are forgettable. Their money covers the so well. So what he is lazy, their is a team who can give them cooked food. The projects are ready to give them credit of creativity. Well done guys!
Divorce
"My husband and I have never considered divorce... murder sometimes, but never divorce."
In this quote, the picture of typical marriage has been shown. There are lots of fights, argument and even they try to kill one another but they do not try to end the problem. Yes, they do not go for divorce. And when anger goes on, they also show love for one another. It is the real fun of relationships. Some people call it madness.
In this quote, the picture of typical marriage has been shown. There are lots of fights, argument and even they try to kill one another but they do not try to end the problem. Yes, they do not go for divorce. And when anger goes on, they also show love for one another. It is the real fun of relationships. Some people call it madness.
Seat belt
"Airline hostesses show you how to use a seat belt in case you haven’t been in a car since 1956."
This person is trying to give advice to the person who even doesn't know the meaning of A. You can say that a person who can not afford to have fan at home, is getting tips on how to operate air-condition at home. So when someone is doing such a silly thing, you can instantly punch this joke.
This person is trying to give advice to the person who even doesn't know the meaning of A. You can say that a person who can not afford to have fan at home, is getting tips on how to operate air-condition at home. So when someone is doing such a silly thing, you can instantly punch this joke.
Women and cats
Women and cats will do as they please. Men and dogs should relax and get used to the idea.
You are a fool
"I don't think you are a fool, but what's my opinion compared to that of thousands of others."
When everyone keeps on saying same thing about a person, there must be something true in that rumor. So when that person meets me, I show him some sympathy by standing on his side but what about the thinking of maximum people. So indirectly I am with majority!
When everyone keeps on saying same thing about a person, there must be something true in that rumor. So when that person meets me, I show him some sympathy by standing on his side but what about the thinking of maximum people. So indirectly I am with majority!
Truly married
"No man is truly married until he understands every word his wife is NOT saying."
This is very amusing quote about the condition of marriage man. It shows how miserable their lives are! If they say anything, there is a problem and if they don't say anything then again there is a problem. He has to be a expert in understand and forecasting everything what their wives want. Although all big scientist have failed in their research on it but still you must continue with your efforts if you want your life worth living.
This is very amusing quote about the condition of marriage man. It shows how miserable their lives are! If they say anything, there is a problem and if they don't say anything then again there is a problem. He has to be a expert in understand and forecasting everything what their wives want. Although all big scientist have failed in their research on it but still you must continue with your efforts if you want your life worth living.
Married - That is marvelous
"I know you've been married to the same woman for 69 years. That is marvelous. It must be very inexpensive."
Average girl
The Average girl would rather have beauty than brains because she knows that the average man can see much better than he can think.
Happy marriage
The most happy marriage I can picture or imagine to myself would be the union of a deaf man to a blind woman.
Two typos of people
There are two typos of people in this world: Those who can edit and those who can’t.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)
Stay Connected, Please
Posts
All Comments